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womanwithanedge
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Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Gender: Female
Interests: hockey, being a beach bum, intimidating men
Expertise: technology, finance, process redesign
Occupation: Executive
Industry: Banking/Finance
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/4/2003
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| Presidential Advice to George Bush
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Be an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away.
The next night, Bush stirs again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.
The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of F.D.R. hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," F.D.R. replies and fades into the mists.
Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe what is the best thing I can do right now, to help the country?"
Abe replies, "go see a play".
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| SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Puerto Ricans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference bet ween a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap."
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| Jersey Girls....
Three men were sitting together bragging about how
they had given their new wives duties. The first man
had married a woman from Alabama and bragged that he
had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes
and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but
on the third day he came home to a clean house and the
dishes were done. The second man had married a woman
from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife
orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and
the cooking. On that the first day he didn't see any
results, but the next day it was better. By the third
day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he
had a huge dinner on the table. The third man had
married a Jersey girl. He boasted that he told her
that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes
washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on
the table for every meal. He said the first day he
didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see
anything but by the third day most of the swelling had
gone down and he could see a little out of his left
eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the
dishwasher and telephone a landscaper.Got to love them
Jersey Girls.
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| BILL MOYERS: THERE IS NO TOMORROW
By Bill Moyers
One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the
delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to
sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the
first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of
power in Washington.
Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues
hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is
generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple,
their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And
there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the
facts.
Remember James Watt, President Ronald Reagan's first secretary of the
interior? My favorite online environmental journal, the ever-engaging
Grist, reminded us recently of how James Watt told the U.S. Congress
that protecting natural resources was unimportant in light of the
imminent return of Jesus Christ. In public testimony he said, "after
the last tree is felled, Christ will come back."
Beltway elites snickered. The press corps didn't know what he was
talking about. But James Watt was serious. So were his compatriots out
across the country. They are the people who believe the Bible is
literally true -- one-third of the American electorate, if a recent
Gallup poll is accurate. In this past election several million good
and decent citizens went to the polls believing in the rapture index.
That's right -- the rapture index. Google it and you will find that
the best-selling books in America today are the 12 volumes of the
"Left Behind" series written by the Christian fundamentalist and
religious-right warrior Timothy LaHaye. These true believers subscribe
to a fantastical theology concocted in the 19th century by a couple of
immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the Bible and
wove them into a narrative that has captivated the imagination of
millions of Americans.
Its outline is rather simple, if bizarre (the British writer George
Monbiot recently did a brilliant dissection of it{1} and I am indebted
to him for adding to my own understanding): Once Israel has occupied
the rest of its "biblical lands," legions of the antichrist will
attack it, triggering a final showdown in the valley of Armageddon.
As the Jews who have not been converted are burned, the messiah will
return for the rapture. True believers will be lifted out of their
clothes and transported to Heaven, where, seated next to the right
hand of God, they will watch their political and religious opponents
suffer plagues of boils, sores, locusts and frogs during the several
years of tribulation that follow.
I'm not making this up. Like Monbiot, I've read the literature. I've
reported on these people, following some of them from Texas to the
West Bank. They are sincere, serious and polite as they tell you they
feel called to help bring the rapture on as fulfillment of biblical
prophecy. That's why they have declared solidarity with Israel and the
Jewish settlements and backed up their support with money and
volunteers. It's why the invasion of Iraq for them was a warm-up act,
predicted in the Book of Revelations where four angels "which are
bound in the great river Euphrates will be released to slay the third
part of man." A war with Islam in the Middle East is not something to
be feared but welcomed -- an essential conflagration on the road to
redemption. The last time I Googled it, the rapture index stood at 144
-- just one point below the critical threshold when the whole thing
will blow, the son of God will return, the righteous will enter Heaven
and sinners will be condemned to eternal hellfire.
So what does this mean for public policy and the environment? Go to
Grist to read a remarkable work of reporting by the journalist Glenn
Scherer -- "The Road to Environmental Apocalypse."{2}{3} Read it and
you will see how millions of Christian fundamentalists may believe
that environmental destruction is not only to be disregarded but
actually welcomed -- even hastened -- as a sign of the coming
apocalypse.
As Grist makes clear, we're not talking about a handful of fringe
lawmakers who hold or are beholden to these beliefs. Nearly half the
U.S. Congress before the recent election -- 231 legislators in total
and more since the election -- are backed by the religious right.
Forty-five senators and 186 members of the 108th Congress earned 80 to
100 percent approval ratings from the three most influential Christian
right advocacy groups. They include Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist,
Assistant Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Conference Chair Rick
Santorum of Pennsylvania, Policy Chair Jon Kyl of Arizona, House
Speaker Dennis Hastert and Majority Whip Roy Blunt. The only Democrat
to score 100 percent with the Christian coalition was Sen. Zell Miller
of Georgia, who recently quoted from the biblical book of Amos on the
Senate floor: "The days will come, sayeth the Lord God, that I will
send a famine in the land." He seemed to be relishing the thought.
And why not? There's a constituency for it. A 2002 Time-CNN poll found
that 59 percent of Americans believe that the prophecies found in the
book of Revelations are going to come true. Nearly one-quarter think
the Bible predicted the 9/11 attacks. Drive across the country with
your radio tuned to the more than 1,600 Christian radio stations, or
in the motel turn on some of the 250 Christian TV stations, and you
can hear some of this end-time gospel. And you will come to understand
why people under the spell of such potent prophecies cannot be
expected, as Grist puts it, "to worry about the environment. Why care
about the earth, when the droughts, floods, famine and pestilence
brought by ecological collapse are signs of the apocalypse foretold in
the Bible? Why care about global climate change when you and yours
will be rescued in the rapture? And why care about converting from oil
to solar when the same God who performed the miracle of the loaves and
fishes can whip up a few billion barrels of light crude with a word?"
Because these people believe that until Christ does return, the Lord
will provide. One of their texts is a high school history book,
"America's Providential History." You'll find there these words: "The
secular or socialist has a limited-resource mentality and views the
world as a pie ... that needs to be cut up so everyone can get a
piece." However, "[t]he Christian knows that the potential in God is
unlimited and that there is no shortage of resources in God's earth
... while many secularists view the world as overpopulated, Christians
know that God has made the earth sufficiently large with plenty of
resources to accommodate all of the people."
No wonder Karl Rove goes around the White House whistling that
militant hymn, "Onward Christian Soldiers." He turned out millions of
the foot soldiers on Nov. 2, including many who have made the
apocalypse a powerful driving force in modern American politics.
It is hard for the journalist to report a story like this with any
credibility. So let me put it on a personal level. I myself don't know
how to be in this world without expecting a confident future and
getting up every morning to do what I can to bring it about. So I have
always been an optimist. Now, however, I think of my friend on Wall
Street whom I once asked: "What do you think of the market?"I'm
optimistic," he answered. "Then why do you look so worried?" And he
answered: "Because I am not sure my optimism is justified."
I'm not, either. Once upon a time I agreed with Eric Chivian and the
Center for Health and the Global Environment that people will protect
the natural environment when they realize its importance to their
health and to the health and lives of their children. Now I am not so
sure. It's not that I don't want to believe that -- it's just that I
read the news and connect the dots.
I read that the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection
Agency has declared the election a mandate for President Bush on the
environment. This for an administration:
** That wants to rewrite the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act and
the Endangered Species Act protecting rare plant and animal species
and their habitats, as well as the National Environmental Policy Act,
which requires the government to judge beforehand whether actions
might damage natural resources.
** That wants to relax pollution limits for ozone; eliminate vehicle
tailpipe inspections, and ease pollution standards for cars, sport-
utility vehicles and diesel-powered big trucks and heavy equipment.
** That wants a new international audit law to allow corporations to
keep certain information about environmental problems secret from the
public.
** That wants to drop all its new-source review suits against
polluting, coal-fired power plants and weaken consent decrees reached
earlier with coal companies.
** That wants to open the Arctic [National] Wildlife Refuge to
drilling and increase drilling in Padre Island National Seashore, the
longest stretch of undeveloped barrier island in the world and the
last great coastal wild land in America.
I read the news just this week and learned how the Environmental
Protection Agency had planned to spend $9 million -- $2 million of it
from the administration's friends at the American Chemistry Council --
to pay poor families to continue to use pesticides in their homes.
These pesticides have been linked to neurological damage in children,
but instead of ordering an end to their use, the government and the
industry were going to offer the families $970 each, as well as a
camcorder and children's clothing, to serve as guinea pigs for the
study.
I read all this in the news.
I read the news just last night and learned that the administration's
friends at the International Policy Network, which is supported by
Exxon Mobil and others of like mind, have issued a new report that
climate change is "a myth, sea levels are not rising" [and] scientists
who believe catastrophe is possible are "an embarrassment."
I not only read the news but the fine print of the recent
appropriations bill passed by Congress, with the obscure (and obscene)
riders attached to it: a clause removing all endangered species
protections from pesticides; language prohibiting judicial review for
a forest in Oregon; a waiver of environmental review for grazing
permits on public lands; a rider pressed by developers to weaken
protection for crucial habitats in California.
I read all this and look up at the pictures on my desk, next to the
computer -- pictures of my grandchildren. I see the future looking
back at me from those photographs and I say, "Father, forgive us, for
we know not what we do." And then I am stopped short by the thought:
"That's not right. We do know what we are doing. We are stealing their
future. Betraying their trust. Despoiling their world."
And I ask myself: Why? Is it because we don't care? Because we are
greedy? Because we have lost our capacity for outrage, our ability to
sustain indignation at injustice?
What has happened to our moral imagination?
On the heath Lear asks Gloucester: "How do you see the world?" And
Gloucester, who is blind, answers: "I see it feelingly.""
I see it feelingly.
The news is not good these days. I can tell you, though, that as a
journalist I know the news is never the end of the story. The news can
be the truth that sets us free -- not only to feel but to fight for
the future we want. And the will to fight is the antidote to despair,
the cure for cynicism, and the answer to those faces looking back at
me from those photographs on my desk. What we need is what the ancient
Israelites called hochma -- the science of the heart ... the capacity
to see, to feel and then to act as if the future depended on you.
Believe me, it does.
Bill Moyers was host until recently of the weekly public affairs
series "NOW with Bill Moyers" on PBS. This article is adapted from
AlterNet, where it first appeared. The text is taken from Moyers'
remarks upon receiving the Global Environmental Citizen Award from the
Center for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical
School.
Copyright 2005 Star Tribune.
{1} http://www.monbiot.com/archives/2004/04/20/apocalypse-please/
{2} http://www.grist.org/news/maindish/2004/10/27/scherer-christi
an/index.html
{3} http://sierraactivist.org/article.php?sid=46102
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| Why Bush won... Cheney Comments on their Strategy....
(coutesy of the Royal Canadian Air Farce)
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Dick Cheney has a few post election victory
comments |
http://www.airfarce.com/video/041112.html
ALSO here's an ad the Republicans forgot to run
view video [RealMedia]
http://www.cbc.ca/clips/mondayreport/bushdoll.rm | | |
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